MEM 2011

This Saturday gone saw the 2011 memoribilia event up at the Birmingham NEC. This is an annual expo that caters for retro stuff such as films, TV, toys and games.

As a member of the UK Garrison (501st) myself and a couple others from Cornwall decided to travel up for this ‘troop’. The Garrison is invited back every year to these sort of events to add a little Imperial flavour to the proceedings. We basically mingle with the crowds and have a little fun with them : ). The garrison is also there to raise money for charities such as the make-a-wish foundation. We don’t get paid. We do it because we enjoy it.

We headed up after work on the Friday evening. Four hours from door to door, not too bad. Our ‘hotel’ was one of the motorway ‘welcome break’ jobs and was nothing to write home about. We asked for a triple-room and of course got a double and a single bed. So myself and Rob took the double as at this point neither of us really knew the other chap Mark. We were told there was a pub called ‘The Swan’ nearby that was used as a gathering point so we set out to find it on Friday evening. We found it ok but there was nobody else from the Garrison there which was a little odd. ‘No drama’ we thought, it is only Friday. After sinking a couple of bombadiers we headed back the the hotel. Now unfortunately i am a light sleeper and Rob snores like a bastard ! The result of which was that i only slept from 04:00 – 06:00. Needless to say with a full day of trooping ahead it was a rather inauspisous start. Still, after a couple of major caffine hits and some brekkie i was good to go. We headed over to the NEC, found the rest of the garrison and proceeded to check-in. We had been allocated our own hall to change in, it was MASSIVE. Bigger than a football pitch. We were provided with refreshments throughout the day, had our own toilets and a special wrist-band that gave us carte-blanche to walk into any of the expo’s going on throughout the weekend in the NEC. In short, we were treated very well. Now as a ‘new recruit’ this was my first troop. This means i had to do an ‘induction’ first. This entailed learning how to be a spotter for the morning. The troopers head out in squads (2-6), each squad has one or two spotters. The jobs of the spotters are -

To be the eyes and ears, some of the costumes have very little visibility. You need to make sure nobody trips over anything or steps on a kid.
To act as security for the troopers. Some people want to get a little too-close. Others try to nick bits off the costumes as you walk past. This happens very rarely though
To take pictures for the public
To give out garrison cards and explain to interested punters who we are and what we do

I spent the morning watching the ‘scanner-gate’ and the five troopers stationed there. This basically looks like an airport metal detector but is jazzed up a bit to make it look ‘Imperial’. As punters are leaving the expo we usher them through the gate. As they walk through the gate it going ‘bong’ and blue lights flash. However. One of the spotters has a remote which sets off an alarm and red flashing lights. So we pick our targets and buzz them as they walk though. Of course the troopers then check them for weapons or ‘rebel intel’ and send them back through again. We keep buzzing them : ). Eventually we ask if they have any change for the collection tin to ensure their safe passage. Most are good sports and play along giving a donation. I then spotted for a squad as they walked around the expo hall just to watch how they interact with the public.

At lunchtime there is the parade. All cosutmes are required. We line up in two ranks and march through the expo hall as they plan the imperial march over the tannoy. The crowds part like the red-sea and the flash-bulbs go crazy. It looks awesome. By this point i am dying to get into costume. The organiser gives us the nod and we are off (there are four other chaps doing their induction on the same day). Luckily the scout costume is pretty straightforwards to get on yourself so within ten minutes i was ready to rock. However before you go out you get ‘branded’ with the UKG decal to show you are part of the best costuming group in the UK. This is good moment for us chaps who have worked so hard getting our costumes in order. Then you are put in a squad, assigned a spotter and away you go. Interacting with the public is great fun. There is something about being in a costume where they cannot see you face . . . As an Imperial you can really mess with people. A couple of favourite tactics -

Whenever you see a poster sticking out of someones bag you snatch it saying ‘Ahh the plans to the death star’.
When somebody is bent over a table flicking through comics or whatever he is quickly surrounded by a load of troopers. When he looks up it’s “oh no !”
Making people jump by creeping up behind them and turning your speaker up “HELLO MA’AM !”

If we don’t like the look of someone we arrest them. They are made to get on their knees with their hands behind their head and shout ‘I LOVE THE EMPIRE !’ as loudly as possible. We get them to do this about five times. If they refuse or get fresh with us we get them doing push-ups. Everybody watching cracks-up. It’s great having that sort of ‘power’. It’s only a bit of fun after all . . . One stall was selling retro star-wars toy. He had a life-size ewok on display (for £400 !). I was in a group of five scouts that walked by. As one, we all stopped and looked at it. The guy twigged and said ‘oh no’. We told him to move the ewok or we would blast it. He did.

At the end of the day we retired back to our hotel. By this point i was knackered. However we had to go out to ‘The Swan’ to meet everybody for drinks. So again we went back to the same place we were at the night before. Nobody else there ? How odd ? There were about 120 of us ! Of course it was the wrong bloody place . . . We found the right place and the party was in full swing. Now as a newbie i have heard tales of initiations. When i walked in smiles and whispers were exchanged. I got very paraniod and sat with my back to the wall while things were passed around under tables. Then after an hour or so everybody got-up and formed a circle. Myself and Mark (who travelled up with us) were told to take a seat in the middle. We sat at a table facing each other with our hands behind our backs. Then two rather large trifles were presented, with no spoon. Yes we had to eat as much of the trifle as possible in one minute without using our hands. And of course as soon as we went for the first mouthful our heads were rammed in. Now being rather competitive i wanted to win. I was also quite hungry so i attacked my trifle like a mad-man. At the end of the time i only had a small bit left. The whole thing was filmed too so i expect it’ll make an appearance at some point. I got a pint bought for me and wiped the trifle from my hair. It was rather funny i’ll admit.

Sunday was much of the same expect of course i was now a bona-fide trooper so could get straight into costume and go out. We messed with people much like we did on the first day. This time i got to take part in the parade too. It was pretty awesome being in the middle of loads of troopers and having everybody looking at us and filming. I probably had my picture taken around 200 times over the course of the weekend. I even got some taken with a rather swish 3D camera although i need some of those green/red glasses to see them properly. We left around 16:00 for the long trek home. I got home around 20:00. I was shattered

A great weekend ! Made lots of new friends. Had some great laughs and raised some money for sick-kids. Job done.